So about that

I guess I have a couple of things to rant about.

Number One: Boobs.

Okay I have a large chest. People are always telling me how great they look. However I don't think they understand how much of a bother they really are. I can't run for a long amount of time because they begin to hurt. Yes I am not stupid, I wear a sports bra but it doesn't really help a whole lot. Then one of my close friends has pointed out to me that a lot of guys have liked me. I want to correct her and say that a lot of guys have liked my boobs. I don't want to sound concieded but I am a pretty awesome person and it sucks to have guys only care about what is on my chest before they care about what is on my mind. Then there is the stereotype that I have run into. If a girl has big boobs she is a whore. I wouldn't call myself that or anything near that. It's hard to be friends with boys when either they are always staring at my chest or their girlfriends are thinking that I want to jump their bones. It's not fair. It isn't like I asked for big boobs. It's not like I want them. Then I always look at shirts in the store and think they are adorable. Then I try them on and it makes my boobs look outrageous. No matter what size I get. The shirt stops looking cute and starts looking like I am trying to get attention. I think the worst thing about it my mom has always told me to be proud of what I have. It's hard to be proud of something I hate, something that others say they like but look down on me because I have them.

Number Two: Religion.

I suppose that I have touched on this subject in the past. I am a proud Christian. I believe in God. I know he is real. Some people ask me why. I have responded that I have faith. People say 'Faith in what?' I say Faith in there is something, someone bigger than us. Faith in what good people have taught me. Faith in my mom when she first introduced me to Christ. Faith in myself, but most importantly Faith in God. People tell me about the Big Bang. I ask them how did it all start? How did the big bang happen? If we evolved what did we evolve from? A rock just sitting there? No. They tell me how little organisms grew and grew into big things. Well I have a question were did the organism come from? How did it start to live? Maybe I am not the conventional Christian. I think from a scientific side. I think what people need to see is that science only takes you so far back before you can't explain it anymore. Well I can go back to the origins. God. He is the reason everything has happened. He has given us things to observe and figure out on our own. And thats how I see science. God is giving us a chance to understand just how amazing His Earth really is. I don't know. It just feels right. It makes sense to me. I am not the first one to say this, nor will I be the last to say it. But maybe I'll make someone think.

Well today I took the World History AP Exam. It wasn't as hard as I thought it was going to be. However I don't think that I did that well, but well enough. I know I didn't epicly fail. Anyway, that was like practically my whole day. After the AP exam we had a mini adventure. Alba (Rich's Teacher Aid) thought the bus driver told her to meet him in the back of the TCC. So we went out the back way. Me and Jenny talked about the test even though "we are NEVER suppose to talk about it". Haha it's not a big deal. Well we didn't find the bus outside. Let me add that it was like seriously 100 degrees outside and I was wearing a jacket (it was freezing in the TCC). Well while Jenny, Mitio (sp lol), Ana, and I shared stories about our experences during the exam, the rest of the group noticed that a girl named Lupita had gone missing. Everyone was like "of course Lupita would get lost". Someone called her and we found her at the bus. Which happen to be in the front of the TCC by the way. So we could have avoided all the heat and just went out the front doors. Um that is all I want to type right now. So yeah.

My mom is going to get surgery on the 24th of June. She is getting a knee replacement. I am kind of worried about it. What if she can't heal from it properly? I mean she isn't really in the best condition and what if the surgery makes it worse. Or what if she doesn't wake up from it? What would I do? I wouldn't be able to do anything. If she got worse from I would only be able to be her legs and I would take on her responsibilities around the house and everything, and watch her lay there helpless. And if she actually died, I think my world would stop turning. I would crash and burn. I am not ready to lose anyone, especially her. Flippen Jenny got me thinking about death now. ):

On Thursday night, my mom get into a big fight with Vince and Mona (my brother and his wife). Well not so much Vince but Mona. Mona got mad because my mom wouldn't babysit for her because my moms cat was about to have kittens. Then she got even angrier when she found out my mom had shown my niece Autumn a picture of my other brother, Lorenzo and his wife, Richelle and my newborn niece, Loren. It turns out that Autumn really wanted to see Lorenzo and the new baby, but like some 12 year old girl Mona hates Lorenzo and Richelle. It is ridiculous. Honestly the woman is almost 30 she needs to stop acting like a child. Anyway I should give some background information. Mona is a bitch. She is rude all the time and she is very childish and she likes to have control of the people she is around. Mona doesn't like the fact that my brother Lorenzo and Richelle have recently started living in a nice house. Lorenzo and Richelle invited her and Vince to the house when they first got it. Mona seriously could have only been ruder if she was scratching up the walls. She told them the house was ugly and that she found it funny that they were "keeping up the the Jones" Meaning they are just materialistic. I realize that a house is a material possession but it is what my brother earned. Anyway and more series of immature events followed that one, including Mona giving Richelle the middle finger, telling people she didn't think that the baby was Lorenzos while she was pregnant. Stupid right. But to sum it all up. Mona doesn't like Lorenzo or Richelle. So she just went off on my mom about showing Autumn the picture of them. My mom didn't do anything wrong. They are a part of Autumns family. Wether or not Mona likes it or not. Then instead of letting Mona just yell at her, my mom defended herself. Then hung up. Two hours later my brother Vince is at the door. Mona has sent him to go and gather any pictures of Autumn, Ariel, and Alivia. (other nieces) So my brother tells my mom that he is no longer going to be talking to her, and neither are the girls or Mona. He says they are out of her life. Forever. My brother claimed it to be for her own good. That isn't true though. He doesn't realize what he has done to mom. Right before mothers day. I really don't like Mona. I can say she is the person that I am closest to hating. She has torn up my family piece by piece. The only reason she does it is because she is jealous of Vince. He has a family she never did. We tried to welcome her to the family. I use to care about her. No more though. I only care about my nieces and my brother. Although I am very disappointed in him right now. He isn't going to see mom the most hurt she has ever been. I am. I am going to be the one to comfort her in her tears. I hope he feels bad. I hope they feel bad because they should. However, I think once they become desperate enough for a babysitter that they will be back around kissing Mom's ass.

One other thing that is on my mind. I feel really distant from Jorge right now..I don't know what is wrong. I know his nieghbor died... but I would think he would want me around. I miss Jorge though.. Right now I think he is depressed. but he won't even talk to me. I don't know what to do.

Church and Chores.

Currently Oh Snap By Philmont I Can't Stand to Fall see related

Heavens Light and Hellsfire.